Let me know if you like this and I can write the background behind it or the aftermath it.Always happy to have some feedback.
She stood there looking at me as though I was crazy. I probably was crazy but at this point it didn’t matter. I couldn’t help myself. Every thought, every emotion and every feeling had been bubbling away inside me for so long that I felt like I was going to explode. Katie looked at me again. “I really don’t think this is a good idea.” She said as she grabbed her keys.
“Me neither.” I followed behind her, rushing her to get to where I needed to be.
“You can’t keep doing this! What are you going to do when you get there? What are you even going to say? You’re going around in circles. Complete and utter circles.”
“I know trust me, i’m getting myself all dizzy. I just, i have too.” I said again. “Please.”
“What are you going to do?” I ignored her question as she pulled up in front of the house. it was familiar and I’m an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. I jumped out of the car, shut the door behind me and walked straight to the front door. Katie calling out behind me.
“Luce, I really don’t think this is a good idea. In fact, this is a terrible idea. Absolutely awful. we should just get back in the car and turn right around.” I ignored her and banged on the door.
“Let’s play knock knock run. You run, and i’ll pretend I knocked.” I gave her a look before she just signed. “Fine. I don’t know what you’re going to say but it’s a bad idea. You’re about to open up yourself to a whole can of worms. So will you just…oh great. You’re not even listening.” The door opened and there it was again, the urgency I felt. I don’t know what came over me, it’s like I was possessed.
“What are you doing he-“ Before he could even finish the sentence I did the only thing that was racing through my mind. I scanned his face and went for it. I just kissed him with everything I had. i pushed him back into his house and let myself in, not stopping for air. I needed to do this, it had been so long and It made me feel so alive.
“LUCY! What are you doing? What happened to “needing to end this”? LUCY.” I could faintly here Katie in back ground but slowly the sound stopped and all I could focus on was him and his lips. I had realised somewhere in between my internal battle that he was kissing me back. He wanted it too and I knew it. I smiled slightly before pulling away for air.
“Well. Is that how you say hello now?” I heard a voice from the corner and I realised he wasn’t on his own. Cameron was sitting in the corner smirking. “I best be off, looks like i’ll see you around Luce. Katie, fancy giving me a lift? I think these two need to talk.” Katie scowled at me. She was furious at me for lying to her but she knew that there was no getting myself out of this one. She nodded at Cameron and gave me a knowing look. I was going to be a whole bunch of phone calls from her tonight and the knot in my stomach tightened. Katie followed behind Cameron and shut the door. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and sat myself down at the round table was in front of his kitchen island.
“So are you going to tell me what all this is about?” He asked before I put my hand up to stop him. I needed a moment before all the talking, before any of it began before I just had this little moment to decipher in my head. “You can’t just turn up here of the blue and kiss me.” Again I said nothing. He sat opposite me forcing me to look at him. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t even know what to say!” It started to feel too much. I just needed to do it that’s all I knew and my mind was spinning. Overwhelmed by the entire situation that i had just walked myself into. i felt like crying but I also felt like screaming, in a good way. “I just, I needed to do it! It sounds crazy, I know. I’m crazy. But for some reason, that is all i’ve thought about for god knows how long. I know this isn’t supposed to happen but you’re here and i’m here. I’d have kicked myself if I didn’t. So I did and I suppose now it’s done, i should probably leave.” I was thinking out loud, rambling to myself to fill the silence. I began to stand up but I felt something grab my wrist stroking the back of my hand Jack was standing there holding it. Then I remember he had kissed me back and I smiled slightly.
“So now that you’ve got your…urge out of the way, What now?” He asks knowing that I have no idea.
“Not a single one?” he asks with a smile only this time he’s worked himself over to my side of the table and he’s standing right next to me.
“Nope.” I said lookup at him and before I knew what was happening, it was his turn to kiss me. He tasted good, like an ice cream you’ve been wanting all summer, hot chocolate that keeps you toasty warm on Christmas Eve, a cold drink of coke from a glass bottle. That kind of good. We were all lips, and as much as I didn’t want to, I pulled away. “What are we doing?”
“Kissing?” he smiled.
“No I got that part.” I laughed “I mean what are we really doing?”
“Well I was hoping to kiss a bit more and then maybe, I could take you upstairs and we can more than kiss. Then we can do all of this talking later.”
“Or we could do the talking now?” He just smiled at me and I knew this was going to cause an absolute shit storm. I knew it , I knew that when I lied to Katie and convinced her to bring me here but yet here I was and Jack was sitting there smiling at me. “What are you smiling at?”
“You are the most infuriating person I know but you’re you and you’re just as you as you were back then.”
“Jack, that makes absolutely no sense at all.”
“Does any of this? You turned up to my house about 30 minutes ago and before you uttered a single word you just kissed me like it was the only thing keeping you alive and here we are at the table deciding what we’re going to do. None of it makes sense, sense would be us never seeing each other again but we’re here.”
“It felt like it was the only thing keeping me alive.” I whispered. I didn’t really mean to say it out loud. “It’s been sitting in my head, bubbling away, always in the back of my mind. Then I saw you and you had broken up with her and I just, I couldn’t bare the idea of going through that again. I know, I know everything about this is a bad idea. A stupid, ridiculous, bad idea. But you know how things sound underwater? Or when you put your hand on the speaker, it just sounds dull? That’s what that felt like. It sounds stupid and cheesy, like i’m in some TV show but honestly. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted you, I needed to kiss you and feel you. You make everything okay.” I continue my outburst because I know he wasn’t going to be the first one to say anything. Always joking around until the absolute last minute.
“You told me you never wanted to see me again.” He spoke quietly.
“You told me that you weren’t one of them. We both lied.” I said quietly.
“We can’t keep going around in circles.”
“I know and for some reason, I thought if I came here. If I just got you out of my system it would be over but it’s not. I thought if I kissed you, I would remember how shitty all of it felt and it would be out of my system and just leave but here I am. My feet remain unmoving and you’re standing in front of me.”
“I don’t want you to leave but, the first time someone says something, you’re going to run. I’m not that person anymore you know that but the whole town’s going to talk. Shit, Katie looked at me like I was poison.”
“She doesn’t know you saved my life…I promised you I wouldn’t tell anyone. So I didn’t” I shrugged and he looked amazed. He had somehow made his way over to me and his hands where on my cheek and before I could stop myself I was leaning into his hand. “This is crazy, I’ve never been the needy type. I’ve never really needed anything, I got used to just being there when people needed me, but never sticking around but I can’t bring myself to leave. I can’t help but notice you haven’t really said how you feel.”
“I thought that was obvious? I’m here aren’t I? I was told to never come anywhere near you again, and damnit I tried to but I wanted to be near you even if I couldn’t be with you. It feels just as alive as it did back then doesn’t it? It never went away for me. I love you.” he said and gave me a quick kiss.
“and I’m the same.” I replied. “Is it really that simple?”
“We could keep talking about it, but I really want to give into this now. I’m done trying to be good. If you want me next to you. I’ll be next to you. I need you too.” I lifted my hand to stroke his face slightly, not being able to believe that this man was somehow baring all of his cards to me. The truth was in his eyes, I knew it. I knew him better than most people and I trusted him. “So it’s up to you, people will talk, they’ll say down right awful things. We’ll probably outcasts, people won’t want us near them. They’ll whisper and the silence will scream, it won’t be easy. We’ll be stuck with each other.”
“But I’ll have you and this knot in my stomach, this wanting and needing It’ll be okay because I’ll have you which is what I’ve wanted. I’ll be able to breathe because I really don’t want to feel like I did again.” I said and before either of us can say anything else. We give in, we kiss and our hands are everywhere. His shirt some how makes it’s way to the floor and mine isn’t far behind. He makes good on his promise to take me upstairs and I feel on top of the world with the high that this man is giving me. I don’t care what everyone is going to say, I’ve listened to them long enough. It’s stupid and ridiculous but the craving I’ve felt slowly melts away, knowing that it’ll be back again tomorrow but I can feed it because he is here and we’re going to fight this together.